surrender.
I have heard the word 'surrender' many times on my winding path inward to loving myself and remembering who I am. Always thinking; What does 'surrender' mean, how do I learn to surrender, maybe there is a formula or a recipe somewhere that I could follow in order to surrender properly? But to my bewilderment, no formula appeared....however, examples and teachers showed up, casually. Would they make a blip on my radar? Maybe. Some encounters with surrender would; stop me in my tracks and leave me spinning on my heels, others would be a light bulb over my head in recollection some years later, yet others would surface as a sweet surrender with a gentle knowing grin in that very moment. And then there would be the moments of complete and utter surrender that would bring me to my knees.
My 1st documented attempt at understanding surrender would take the form of a water color painting. I had a vision of this beautiful, confident sensual flamingo dancer in a flowing red dress. She was dancing and ultimately arching her body backwards in the most powerful yet vulnerable form of physical surrender. The vision was experienced during meditation, courtesy of my third eye and was awe inspiring. Unfortunately what landed on the canvas with water colors was lost in translation to the paint brush...lol. I wish you could see how magnificent this confident and radiant woman was, in my minds eye, surrendering in her decadent glory. This vision would be an illustration of the grace and power found in surrender. It whispered, 'vulnerability is not something to be avoided at all costs....But something to be embraced in rapture.' What did it mean? Well....I could continue to build the most carefully constructed barriers around my perceived flaws and tender spots, strategically designed to keep others out. Or I could start to remove the barriers piece by piece and embrace the very things that I feared revealing, as magnificent. In doing so, I could find a most courageous quite power and light emanating where the barriers once held fast and cast only shadows.
In the early 2000's a former colleague talked to me about surrender. At the time I wasn't really 'hearing' him, I was listening but the concept he was sharing was beyond my understanding. All these years later, I still recall his trying to persuade me that surrender was a possible resolution to an argument with my (then) husband. My stance was rigid, needing to 'win' because I was right. As he was talking I kept visualizing myself waving a big white flag in the air, like on a battle field. I vehemently protested to him, that this would never be me. All these years later, I now understand what he was selling and realized the spiritual content of what he had tried to impart to me that day. The message wasn't lost on me, it would however be taking a decade (or two) long detour.
In July of 2018 I had a three hour conversation with a total stranger on an airplane. We talked as if we had known one another before. We both shared insights of our respective spiritual journeys. At one point he said to me that he had, 'learned to surrender.' I asked....What does that mean? He said, 'I started to allow, to go with the flow,' versus having to 'make things happen.' The universe had started orchestrating events to align him with his true path....for example he was laid off from his executive role in a corporate gig, as he had been unwilling to take the gentle nudges prior that he should leave this work. I don't recall exactly how many businesses he now owns, it was over 20 and he hadn't flown on a commercial flight in many years, because he is able to get more work done on a privately chartered plane. In his surrender, alignment was attained, abundance began to flow and 10 plus years later continues to flow into all areas of his life.
My dog, Spoons, has taught me a form of surrender. When Spoons is feeling content he will fall asleep on his back, exposed and vulnerable....surrender of his animal instincts leaving his care and well being in my hands. He knows, he trusts and has faith that he will be safe and secure.
In Bikram Hot Yoga, camel pose was the one pose that I used to dread. This backward bend opens the heart center. It would open my heart center so much, I would almost become ill. I would exit the backbend, emotion caught in my throat and tears streaming down my face. The pose I resisted the most was the very pose needed the most. On the other side of my resistance lay my surrender.
Vulnerability, confidence, allowing, faith, trust and love are just a couple ingredients on the list for my personal surrender recipe. Surrender is many things, one of which is critical to my formula....the absence of resistance.
Message from Unia;
Face to the sun, heart to the sky. Complete surrender in your knowing dear one. Letting love pour out and through your beautiful soul. All are blessed with divine majesty. Step into your power, wait no longer, it is yours. With the greatest of love and care we enfold you. You are safe. Surrounded in blessings.